Alot to say,
Thanks Farid for calling me at the middle of the night after you found out, even though I sounded like a freaking horse and I couldnt really say a sentence without sobbing, you listened and you jokerr, I couldnt help but to laugh even though I was crying fountains at the same time.
Thanks Amsyar bigbro, for picking me up for dinner yesterday, dragged my lazy ass off the house, got me to actually eat a proper meal after a long while and cheered me up even though yea, I probably pulled the mood down at times (sorry).
Thanks Farid for calling me at the middle of the night after you found out, even though I sounded like a freaking horse and I couldnt really say a sentence without sobbing, you listened and you jokerr, I couldnt help but to laugh even though I was crying fountains at the same time.
Thanks Amsyar bigbro, for picking me up for dinner yesterday, dragged my lazy ass off the house, got me to actually eat a proper meal after a long while and cheered me up even though yea, I probably pulled the mood down at times (sorry).
Thanks Vanisha, Annabella, Kaori and Aidah, thank you. So much, really. I never would've thought you guys would call/sms in such a short period of time.
Thanks my crazy-beyond-words housemates for trying to cheer me up the past few nights, Idk how I'll survive this hellhole house and the maniac guardian(which btw is bitching about me right this second) without all of you.
Thanks so much for that couple (you should know who you are), if I didnt come to you guys I think I'll be in a faar worse state than now. Really, now I know what I should do.
Thanks to my crazy dramagirls, you guys are the coolest drama queens I've ever known. Listening to ABBA, Grease and other Retro musicals managed to get my mind off things, even for just half the day. Attitude problems forever, yes indeed.
And my bestfriends all the way in Bali, thank you so much for bothering to listen to me for a long time even though I was in such a mess and not to mention, the Director was screaming crazy at you guys from backstage because you guys were due onstage in a few minutes and you weren't even dressed(sorryy), you still took time to listen to everything.
Thanks to my fellow classmates, Im sorry you had to see me that way, and thank you for the post-its, the hugs, everything.
And most of all, my dearest dearest deareest girls- Anisa,Amanda, Samantha,Faizah,Amira,Brenda,Emmanuelle,Ten. Gosh, Im just so out of words, you guys did so much to help me, a thankyou is just an understatement. Really. I love you guys.
Thanks my crazy-beyond-words housemates for trying to cheer me up the past few nights, Idk how I'll survive this hellhole house and the maniac guardian(which btw is bitching about me right this second) without all of you.
Thanks so much for that couple (you should know who you are), if I didnt come to you guys I think I'll be in a faar worse state than now. Really, now I know what I should do.
Thanks to my crazy dramagirls, you guys are the coolest drama queens I've ever known. Listening to ABBA, Grease and other Retro musicals managed to get my mind off things, even for just half the day. Attitude problems forever, yes indeed.
And my bestfriends all the way in Bali, thank you so much for bothering to listen to me for a long time even though I was in such a mess and not to mention, the Director was screaming crazy at you guys from backstage because you guys were due onstage in a few minutes and you weren't even dressed(sorryy), you still took time to listen to everything.
Thanks to my fellow classmates, Im sorry you had to see me that way, and thank you for the post-its, the hugs, everything.
And most of all, my dearest dearest deareest girls- Anisa,Amanda, Samantha,Faizah,Amira,Brenda,Emmanuelle,Ten. Gosh, Im just so out of words, you guys did so much to help me, a thankyou is just an understatement. Really. I love you guys.
I'll be lying if I said I'm fine.
But I've come to a decision.
It may be stubborn, naive, painful, stupid and slightly selfish.
But nonetheless, its a decision. And I've thought it through so many times.
And, yeah. There are many possibilities as to how this decision of mine will end. It may not be how I want it to turn out. But...
I cant help it anymore, and I guess I just dont have the courage and the strength to force myself to do something that I dont want/like to do.
So with this, I will believe. I am willing to take risks.
I'm not so sure who I am or want to be anymore. But if what I've turned out to be, is making me go through all this unhappiness. I dont like the new me.
Backtrack, step back, figure out- its back to the ol' drawing board again.
-If you love something, set it free.
If it doesn't come back, maybe it wasn't meant to be.
...
If it does, it was always yours.
