Champagne Supernova.

Alot to say,

Thanks Farid for calling me at the middle of the night after you found out, even though I sounded like a freaking horse and I couldnt really say a sentence without sobbing, you listened and you jokerr, I couldnt help but to laugh even though I was crying fountains at the same time.
Thanks Amsyar bigbro, for picking me up for dinner yesterday, dragged my lazy ass off the house, got me to actually eat a proper meal after a long while and cheered me up even though yea, I probably pulled the mood down at times (sorry).

Thanks Vanisha, Annabella, Kaori and Aidah, thank you. So much, really. I never would've thought you guys would call/sms in such a short period of time.
Thanks my crazy-beyond-words housemates for trying to cheer me up the past few nights, Idk how I'll survive this hellhole house and the maniac guardian(which btw is bitching about me right this second) without all of you.
Thanks so much for that couple (you should know who you are), if I didnt come to you guys I think I'll be in a faar worse state than now. Really, now I know what I should do.
Thanks to my crazy dramagirls, you guys are the coolest drama queens I've ever known. Listening to ABBA, Grease and other Retro musicals managed to get my mind off things, even for just half the day. Attitude problems forever, yes indeed.
And my bestfriends all the way in Bali, thank you so much for bothering to listen to me for a long time even though I was in such a mess and not to mention, the Director was screaming crazy at you guys from backstage because you guys were due onstage in a few minutes and you weren't even dressed(sorryy), you still took time to listen to everything.
Thanks to my fellow classmates, Im sorry you had to see me that way, and thank you for the post-its, the hugs, everything.
And most of all, my dearest dearest deareest girls- Anisa,Amanda, Samantha,Faizah,Amira,Brenda,Emmanuelle,Ten. Gosh, Im just so out of words, you guys did so much to help me, a thankyou is just an understatement. Really. I love you guys.

I'll be lying if I said I'm fine.

But I've come to a decision.

It may be stubborn, naive, painful, stupid and slightly selfish.

But nonetheless, its a decision. And I've thought it through so many times.

And, yeah. There are many possibilities as to how this decision of mine will end. It may not be how I want it to turn out. But...

I cant help it anymore, and I guess I just dont have the courage and the strength to force myself to do something that I dont want/like to do.

So with this, I will believe. I am willing to take risks.

I'm not so sure who I am or want to be anymore. But if what I've turned out to be, is making me go through all this unhappiness. I dont like the new me.

Backtrack, step back, figure out- its back to the ol' drawing board again.

-

If you love something, set it free.
If it doesn't come back, maybe it wasn't meant to be.
...
If it does, it was always yours.

Labels: I cant seem to shake this awful feeling.

010309-160909 .
Its over.
Everything has changed,
we both changed,
and I guess we had to do what we had to do.

First of all,
I just need to say thank you for everyone. For your concerns, your smses, your embraces, thank you so much, it meant alot to me, it really did.

Im grieving over the fact that this relationship is over,
Im grieving over the fact the everything we have said, everything we've promised, everything said and done, everything we've planned out, they're not happening and just may not happen.
Im grieving over the fact that I've lost someone to sms good morning to, goodnight to, talk to every night.
Im grieving over the fact that, what we had is just not the same anymore.
...

BUT.
I shall not grieve over the fact that I met you that Thursday, because you've changed me, you've changed my life and even though there were downs, you've made me more than happy.
And I shall not grieve over losing you. Because I have not lost you. Because I cant afford to lose you. And yes, as we put it yesterday, we are 'special friends'. Because what we shared was something special and no one can take that away. You'll still always be there for me, and you I know I will too. And I definitely can trust you to keep your promise.

Yes, I still love you, it may not be the same as the love we had when we just started. But I still do, very much. Because well love is universal.

This might be for the better, we both need to concentrate on studies and our own lives for ahile. I need to figure me out, and how I feel.

I wont talk about moving on just yet, but Im trying my very best to reduce my tears day by day night by night.
And through this painful process, I'll just let fate decide whatever's going to happen.
If its meant to be, its meant to be.

The Love.

Heheeho.

Sam's SO SICK teeshirt.

Bromance <3

Bromance gone wrong.

Eve and stephyyy.

SAM VITTO, YOU LOUD

Bluefin sharkfin yellowfin.

Harleyyy Warleyy (:

VittoFuzzyEvelyn

I wont post the rest of the pictures, because Yuuki and Harry took them and they were inappropriate and zoomed in. Jyeah.
Alright, this'll be a looong post. Cant help the many happenings eh.

Candidasa trip was awe-to-the-some baby! I have a bloody tanline though, which sucks so much. I feel bloody roasted. But my sister's is so hilarious, she has holes on her hips and back HAH.
-
Today was a happy day with my favourite crowd! But I had my down moments too.
Firstly, crazeh time in Simpang Siur with Evelyn, Neta, Stephanny and my fave Brazilian ghey friend Vitto Mosquitoo. Watched Whisper, fcking thrilling I swear. Then walked around SS fo abit. We were so high, Eve's fault. And Vitto made me laugh so much I developed a six pack HAHA.
NYAMUK!, you're the best 'gay' friend everr I keep on forgetting you're a guy I'm serious! EU TI AMO♥(correct spelling?), HEE.

Eve: "Eh Vit atleast you're close to yuuki. Wait are you?"
Vitto: *bimbo voice* "Like if by like close you mean, like, sexual/homosexual/physical harrasement...then yeah, Im close."
Me: *ROFLMAO* "OMFG, what does he do to you?"
Vitto: *bimbo-er voice* "He liike makes me sit on him and then he'll likee....bouunce. And once I wrote 'Im gay' on his hand, he was liike 'Aww Vittoooo' and then he like squeezed my nipples"
Me: *ROFLMAOLOLHAHAHA* *ghetto voice* "HIGH FIVE GIRLFRIIIEND"
Vitto: "HIGH FIVE GIRLFRIENDD" *gay-ly high fives*

Made a one-line nursery rhyme: Oh Vittoo, stayyy gayyy cos we love you that wayyy.

And then they lepak-ed at my place for abit while waiting for the other duds to come so we can eat. But Neta had to go, so heartbreaking ):
Yuuki Tonai, Sam Neon Macfarlene, Harley Brown and Harry Day FINALLY came at 7pm, after 1hour of hunger pangs. Then we all ate at Bluefin. Our lot was the rowdiest for sure. And they are so bloody PIMP, my gawd. HEE.
Havent seen Harry in such a looong time, he shot up like crazy I felt like a midget:/ Sam's still crazy and Harley's still cooool!
We tallked and ate and Sam spilled Soy sauce all over the table. More crazy talks and my other BEST FRIEND, YUUKI TONAI, here decided to harrass and kick my leg when they were talking about __________. Stupeed.
Then, I was trying to get some pretty bromance shots when-
Me: "COME ON! Yuuki! Harry! Im expecting some gay shots heeree. You were so lovey just now"
Vitto: "Fuz, everything happens under the table" *Harry's hand goes down*

Thanks so much for the well-wishing toast guys (yes, Yuuki proposed a toast!) So sweet, I felt a tear HAHA.
And thanks so much EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU GUYS for the hugs because even though you guys didnt know what happened to me before that, you made me feel so darn much better. I swear no one can hug as suffocating as you guys.
And Vitto Mosquito! In all your gay glory, you made me laugh so hard I cried, and for the Post-it notes! And the bubble bottle! And Neta, you're the sweetest ever I swearrr, innocent(?) HAHA. I'm gonna miss you alot alot Netz): Besok temenin aku ya.
And thanks so much Yuukii for always picking up the phone whatever time it was and listened to my shit. LOL. Idk why I still come to you for advice man, cos you give the most random and unrelated ones. Hahah but thanks for cheering me up, you ma Monyet bestfriend :D 7 years of drama dood.
AND MOST OF ALLL, the best of all my bestest friends, EVELYN AYU RAJ. You are one hell of something special. Thanks so much for well, everything for the past 7years. And for always being prepared with a fuzzy hug, wherever and whenever. YES, even if it means in the middle of a crowded shopping mall, everyone starring because we were both blocking the way and tearing and hugging like nobody's bloody beeswax.
YOU GUYS ARE THE L.O.V.E.

I swear I'll miss ya'll especially Vitto cos he has to go back to Brazil duing the Christmas hols. Shucks.
But tomorrow's time to go back to Singapore. To the books and ofcourse my gorgeous people there whom I miss too (:
AIS, good luck for the play!
xx

Im going to Candidasa Resort for some hardcore beach lovin!

Booyeahh! See you peepz on Saturday.

bb.

Yesterday= FREE FOOD IN BCCO+Photobooth+Polaroid+Cat fights+Evelyn+Yuuki+Vitto+Neta+Eve's house+Cookie hiding my shoes so I couldnt go home til 930= FCKIN F to the U to the N!

Yes awkward conversations still included and it was all Vitto's fault. Hahah. Everybody's bet still on you baby girl! *High Fives Yuuki*
-
Wtf, Evelyn and Yuuki cant stop fighting about everything under the Sun.

Yuuki: "Fuzzy you can thank your Best Friend HERE for asking John about Monday"
Me:"Thank youu Yuuki"
Evelyn:"Fuzz I'M your Best Friend!"
Me:"You two are my-"
Yuuki:"EVE you didnt even ask John!"
Eve:"Yes I did! I ALWAYS ask you never ask!"
Yuuki:"No you didnt! FUZ! Eve's such a liar"
Eve:"SHUTTUP YUUKI YOU..."
Me,Neta,Vitto: ._.
*YADDAYADDAYADDA Goes on for about 5 minutes"
Me: " OKAYYY VITTO AND NETA, YOU GUYS SHALL BE MY NEW BESTFRIENDS"

*After Eve and Yuuki argues about whether Dhani was hot or not*
Evelyn: "OMG FUZ I PUNKED YUUKI SO BAD IN CLASS TODAY"
Yuuki: "No you didnt! I wasnt even scared!"
Eve: "yes you were you ran around the school trying to find my phone."
Yuuki: " No Eve."
Eve: "Okay but deeeeep inside you were scared"
Yuuki: " I wasnt, eve you're such a liar-"
*YADDAYADDAYADDA Goes on for about 5mins*
Eve: " You know what Yuuki, whatever. Fuz, whatever Yuuki says I know that deeeep inside he respects me. And deeeep inside he regards me as one of his best friends. And deeeep inside he knows that Dhani's hot. And deeeep inside he knows that Dhani's hotter than him"
Yuuki: "WHATSUP WITH YOU AND THAT DEEEP INSIDE SHIT"
*continues arguing while the rest of us enjoy our meals quietly*

Glad to know some things just never change.

xx

Everything's good *thumbs up*

Sunday was Centro with Evelyn, Teresa, Agha, Purnama, Maseha and then we bumped into William and Albeeee. Yuuki and Neta called in sick-.-

Eve, Teresa and Will came over to slack till 9pm then I went to Eve's for abit to chill. Love her newly renovated house dood!

Yesterday spent the day with the family in Hard Rock Pool. They swam til sunset while I was stuck at the bench doing stupid Trigo. URGH BLAME MY PERIOD! And then headed to Rosso Vivo for dinner but me and Debz sneaked out to Kuta Beach at night. Teehee.

Anw, later heading out to AIS to watch the bestfriends rehearse for next week's play. And then free food with Eve, Neta, Yuuki, Ryan maybe Harry, Robbie, Sam and I-cant-remember-whoelse-is-coming in BCCo! Expensive macaroons and tasty salad here we coomeeee.

IM IN BALI, BABY!
And Evelyn and Teresa surprised me, showing up on my doorsteps this morning! I just woke up and we're Macbooking. *grins*
Off to the movies/beach/Discovery Mall later with Yuukiitt(!) and Teresa's boyf (HAHA) and maybe calling up Vitto,Neta and the rest.
WOOHOO LIFE IS SWEET.
-
Dont worry, I wont forget B while Im having fun (:

FUCK EVE JUST BIT ME ON THE SHOULDER!
Its good to be home.

xx

HAPPY 6 MONTHS(and one day),LOVE♥!

&through it all, the bitter and the sweet- you stuck by me, never letting go. And promised me that come what may, you never will. Thankyou for the best 6months evuhh, I love you B! (:
-
Went around town with B on Sunday(: Epic lah, some TKGians saw us. And I finally got to watch the Proposal with the housemates after. I ended up cryin my eyes out and stupid me for agreeing to share the Nachos with the two duds, which meant the I had to sit between Po Kai and Banana. They had a freakin good laugh at me. Stupid heartless asshole guys.

Teacher's Day Performance was COOL. Drama pwns, everybody cracked up during our performance. So now, even the teachers call me 'Cher Three'. Dont ask why. Ms Ng's performance was so heartwarming, a total tearjerker (yes I teared ABIT). She's the best FM everr. After school, went back to TKPS for abit. I saw Mrs.Liu, Amsyar, Aidahh, Iskandar, Mei Ling and a few others. Not that many:/ But it was still fun. And then parkway-ed with Aidah, Kaori and Krizhen. EPICCC! Its been awhile huh.

So yesterday was spent at B's, stuck in the rain. I was lucky I wasn't frozen stiff when I arrived. Spent the day laughing at the lame actors on tv and got our eyes glued on Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? B's mum helped me get the e-ticket faxes from my mum:D YEAHH I finally got my airplane tickets and I can go hula-hula in Bali this Saturday! Hee. Yesterday was awesome right?
-
Talking to Anisa till 2 in the morning is awesomezx. Love you byytch.
FAI I REAAAALLY WANT TO SLAP YOUR FACE. WHYYY.

xx